The Top Regrets Of Parents Who Raised Successful Children

Parents are always working to make life better for their children. Creating a life of happiness and enriching experiences is the overarching goal, and parents often have lots of plans for how to make these dreams a reality. When it comes time to look back on the life your children have grown up with, however, there are always things parents wish they'd done differently. Parents overwhelmingly wish they had been able to spend more time with their children, and often say they wish they had told them they loved them more. It's true that there's just no ceiling on these kinds of things. But beyond a more sentimental view of the past, plenty of parents see their children grow into successful adults and still wish they had done certain things differently. From thinking they could have taken a step back and been less directly active — allowing their young ones to enjoy a bit more freedom and thrive on their own — to thoughts of pushing certain activities, parents often see things more clearly with the benefit of hindsight.

Even children who grow up to be financially successful likely didn't have perfect childhoods. These are some of the top regrets of parents with children who turned out alright.

One of the most common regrets that parents talk about when looking back on their time raising children involves interference in their children's choice of activities. All parents want what's best for their little ones. And, considering that all parents have experienced childhood firsthand and can look back on their own decisions and path, it's easy to assume that they know what's best. Indeed, parents do have a good handle on evaluating the bigger picture and charting a path toward preset goals flung way out into the future. But that's not always the actual best path for their children. Everyone is unique, and will experience life in their own way. Seeking out unique experiences, chasing individual life goals, and making critical, personal decisions along the way is what life is all about.

Many parents see certain goals that their children have set for themselves and begin to create a path that can help them fulfill those desires. But the thing is that goals and dreams change, and they evolve frequently for children. Moreover, the more a child experiences the better able they become to express what they want and how they want to do it. Pushing them to join specific clubs, continue a sport they may have fallen out of love with, or go all-in on schoolwork to the detriment of other personally fulfilling endeavors often just leads to burnout and a sense of longing for something different.

Entrepreneurs are often some of the bravest spirits out there. People who risk it all to bring their company, idea, or product to life must have a backbone made of steel. Some parents go all in trying to impart a never-say-die attitude into their children, but most look to balance caution with courage. This balance is struck in order to pass on to children a healthy ability to believe in themselves while not succumbing to the risks of overconfidence or blatant hype with no supportive backdrop to bring a goal into reality.

For many parents, these blended approaches are based in their own engrained fears and beliefs. Parents typically want their children to become individuals that experience life through their own eyes and enjoy their own successes and failures. However, many parents look back and wonder if they passed on their own biases and fears in this regard. For instance, the decision to take a stable job that offers a quality paycheck but doesn't feel as rewarding as an entrepreneurial endeavor or a riskier job with a startup can be a great opportunity find their footing. But a parent that constantly pushed the stable route might sway their decision in a way they might not have otherwise chosen for themselves.

Ironically, more work around the house rather than less is a change many parents would make for their children if they could do it all over again. Parents often look back on their time with young ones and see missed learning opportunities in these household management tasks. Small chores like taking out the trash or folding clean clothing help create a sense of responsibility and offer a means of giving them a steady allowance. But there's more to the world of children's chores than creating good habits.

Many chores provide a learning opportunity. Every child will eventually grow into an adult, with may or may not bring their own young ones into the world. Tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash set the groundwork for being a responsible adult. If you teach your children to do things like mow the lawn, take out the trash, and perform basic cooking functions, they won't struggle to bring these essential skills into their life later on. Knowing how to do things for yourself is a critical life skill, and it's one that can be imparted early on with a few responsibilities around the house, under the care and tutelage of a parent who already knows how to perform these tasks.

Children learn all kinds of lessons from the adults in their lives. Teachers, parents, and others feature prominently in their development into the adults they'll eventually become. But the bonds they build with others in their general age group are equally if not more important. Young people bounce ideas off each other and test one another in ways they simply can't with adults. Nowhere is this more apparent than in a sibling relationship. Siblings are often some of the best of friends, and they can enmesh themselves in some of the worst scraps, too.

Sibling bonds are so important for people as they grow up. Parents often look back on their time raising two or more children and wish they had done more to foster healthy, supportive relationships between their young ones. It's easy to instill a sense of family spirit among the whole group, but it's also important to allow children to drift off with each other from time to time. Allowing them the space to develop their own friendship with one another in a space that's not dominated by parental oversight or pressure is a precious thing. Later in life, children often step in to provide care and support for their parents, and perhaps even one another in financial, physical, or emotional ways. Building these essential bonds early in life will allow them the relationship they require to step into these roles.

Molding young minds that are tender, thoughtful, and caring is an important goal for many parents. On the other hand, plenty of parents see characteristics of bold and courageous behavior to be idealized traits. Many see brash courage and a willingness to stand up and speak your desires plainly and assertively as something directly opposite of kindness. In childhood, parents seek to teach their children to play nicely with others and share. Collaborative play and all that stems from it is important, but many parents of adult children wish they had spent more time instilling a balance between assertiveness when you want something and a deference to the needs and desires of others.

No child should be taught to always share their things or give into the desires of others no matter what. But parents and children alike are all too often conditioned to think in terms of fairness in snapshot moments rather than the bigger picture. A balance between compromise in some circumstances and unyielding adherence to your own wishes in others is an important thing to create for yourself. When interacting with your boss, for instance, you want to be accommodating and flexible in your day to day performance. Most employees will come across as hardheaded and antagonistic if they stick to the exact letter of their employment contract. But on the other hand, you'll want to understand your own boundaries and assert them if you're being taken advantage of.