Never Say This One Phrase When Asking For A Raise At Work

Almost half of workers in the U.S. don't feel their employer pays them a fair wage, according to a 2023 study by Qualtrics on behalf of Credit Karma. While some of these employees have the luxury of an automatic increase in salary at the end of each year, which might get their pay closer to what they deem appropriate, others are forced to complete the uncomfortable task of asking for a raise.

A 2017-2018 study by Payscale, where the company polled more than 160,000 American workers, found that 37% of them had requested a raise from their employer. While 70% of those individuals were granted a raise, only 40% received the percentage increase they asked for. The rest were denied a raise for various reasons, like budgetary constraints, or for no reason at all, as was the frustrating case for 33% of employees whose request was rejected.

If you believe you're not being compensated fairly for your contributions at work (which you can find out if you talk about pay with your coworkers), you have every right to request a raise. Doing such a thing, of course, can be nerve-wracking, as denial is always a possibility. Still, there's a way to decrease your chances of walking out of your boss's office in the same financial boat that you went in: avoid saying you "deserve" a raise when asking for one.

If an employer is on the fence about granting a request for an increase in salary/wage (and you're unable to relocate to one of these states with the highest average salary), there's one thing that can quickly turn the meeting south, and that's if you say you "deserve" the raise. At a glance, this seems like a reasonable statement. After all, you do deserve it, as you've gone above and beyond for the company over the past year(s), taking on new projects, meeting deadlines, and bringing in record- breaking revenue. However, according to Cynthia Banks, a professor of business at the University of Colorado-Boulder, former CEO, and career coach, this phrasing can come off as too forceful and demanding.

Banks explained to Reader's Digest, "I've approved and written raises for hundreds of people, and this is the top thing that people said that irked me the most. Any variation of, 'I've done so much for this company,' or, 'You owe this to me,' is couched in blame and guilt, and that will immediately put your manager on the defensive." She added, "And you never want to start a negotiation where one party is already feeling antagonistic."

While the employee should be confident when they go into the meeting, they should maintain a positive demeanor as they highlight their contributions, skills, and willingness to grow within the company as they talk to their boss about getting a raise.

Even if you say all of the right things, a raise is never guaranteed. In many cases, due to budgetary constraints, a company simply can't afford to increase salaries at certain points in the year. But just because it's a "no" this time around doesn't mean the conversation can't be revisited again at a later, more opportune, date. Therefore, just as employees shouldn't be demanding when asking for a raise, they shouldn't be argumentative when it's denied. This will most likely make it even harder in the future to secure a raise.

To start, experts advise not to take the rejection personally, and to take a moment to gather yourself before you respond. As the Harvard Business Review notes, it's important to respond diplomatically, which can include expressing your disappointment in not getting the raise, but also your commitment moving forward. What you shouldn't do is question your boss about their decision and/or threaten to leave the company for another that's prepared to give the salary you're asking for. Instead, gracefully accept the decision and ask to revisit the conversation at an agreed-upon point in time.